So it's been a while since I posted, I know, and I'm sorry for that. There's just been a lot going on. I've had real-life commitments, there's been general laziness, but the key factor for my lack of communication is I've just been really busy gaming. Now, I know it may seem a bit contradictory that I would be too busy gaming to post on my gaming blog. To those who feel this way, I ask you this. Have you ever been too busy being a douche to drop a post on www.ImABigOlDouche.com? Now, to those of you who think it ironic that I didn't post about gaming because I was too busy gaming, I think it's been a while since you updated IDontKnowWhatIronicMeans.blogger.com. That's right. You don't even get your own domain name… Well, now that I've insulted 60% of those reading this, let's move on to what game I've found so captivating for the last few months. I'll give you a hint. It's not WoW and it probably is the picture right beneath this sentence.

 

 

I just can't stop playing it. It's… it's so good. I've lost track of just how many times Antilles, Mack, and myself have started a game around 7pm, gotten our murder on for a bit, and become so consumed by the awesome that we turn around to find it's midnight. Even when I don't have a posse to roll with, I can still play it for hours. Now, it wasn't always like that. When the game first came out, solo play, after a bit, became a bore, but all that's changed. Actually, a lot has changed since Borderlands first came out. I guess that's a decent enough topic to write about. Let's take a look back at Borderlands' rise from adequate to epic from expansion to expansion.

 

October 20th, 2009 Released: Borderlands

Great game but can't really say why. On release, the netcode was,… How should I put it? Bukakke? Now, this is a game that really only ramps up to kick-ass when you've got a full crew, yet they hired a drunk and belligerent rhino to write their network code? Fail. This was, far and above, the main fault with Borderlands on release, in my opinion, but certainly not the only major concern. It ate up more processor power than a game of it's caliber should often times resulting in system locks. The dialogue may have been brilliant but the plot/story was practically non-existent. The whole game still felt like a console experience on the PC with many heavily used keystrokes hard-coded and un-mappable from the keybinding menu. And don't even get me started on the inventory management system. I felt like I was getting raped in the face every time I wanted to compare two guns. Still, somehow, the game's mechanics and stylish design shined through. Despite all its faults, it just worked. There really hasn't been anything like it in the past. We'd all jump into Ventrilo to play and the next 3 hours would be spiced with spewed expletives and the faint sound of the smashing of keyboards. Yet, no one ever suggested we stop playing. It was downright eerie.

 

 

December 9th, 2009 Release: The Zombie Island of Dr. Ned

ZIODN was a marked improvement. Netcode improved but far from perfect. Game stability increased. If that wasn't enough, the new campaign was a hoot with a completely revised fighting style and a setting that in no way resembled the original. Toss in even better dialog, a cohesive story/plot, and ramped up loot drops and you'd think it was perfect. Unfortunately, there's the issue of length. It's short… Reeeeally short. First play-through, if you stick with just the main quests, can be done in a few hours. Even with side-quests, you can complete it in a single night. I don't know the exact number of side-quests but it can't be over 15. The original must have quadruple that. Real world example: I completed my second play-through of Zombie Island with my hunter last night, solo, beginning to end, completing every quest available. Of course, I know my way around since I've beaten it 5 times now but that's just it. Even short, it's fun on the fifth play-through and I'm guessing it will be entertaining when I do it a sixth. Most games these days don't have that kind of replay. On top of that, I don't know exactly what piece of the puzzle changed this but, single player is actually fun this time round. Bottom line? At no point did I feel it wasn't worth it's original $19.99 pricetag.

 

 

January 7th, 2010 Release: Mad Moxxi's Underdome Riot

Oh Moxxi, I know what you were trying to be but you just fell short. Moxxi's Underdome is, so far, the red headed stepchild of the group. It's not bad, mind you. It's just far from great. What the devs were trying to do was noble. We all want game developers to listen to their audience. Execution, however, can be a bitch. After the original release of Borderlands, players in forums far and wide talked about their favorite part of the game and everyone cited the same dinky little 10 minute quest line. It's frequently referred to as "The Skagg Arena". Seriously, it was about a 10 minute job but I'm right there with the rest of 'em. It's my favorite part and I don't really know why. It was a little cage match against wave after wave of these four-legged beasts and it was at just the right difficulty curve that you had to be on your toes. I can't tell you how many times I, myself, said "I wish this were longer." Well, the developers listened and gave us what we wanted: an expansion that was just arenas. Another gift to their followers was a bank account for storing your gear – another popular request from the forums. On paper, this is all just peachy but the devil is in the details. First and foremost, each match is too long. Too much of a good thing goes bad fast. Combine that with no save points and, not only can it become tedious, you're not allowed to take a break. The next issue was experience points. The developers opted not to give out xp for any kills made in the arenas. I'm sure the reasoning there was to prevent players from maxing out characters in the Underdome and then playing the other campaigns with over powered toons. Still, it makes the whole thing feel detached from the "Borderlands Universe". Things in the Underdome stay in the Underdome. That goes for bank accounts too. Only way to reach your bank account is to port over to Moxxi's. That's not so bad for the original campaign but Zombie Island only has one portal. Poor planning. Worst of all, the poster-child for the expansion, Moxxi herself, is unfortunately, in my humble opinion, just annoying to listen to. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't talk through the entire arena match, using the same lackluster lines over and over. Again, Moxxi isn't a bad game. You get a group of friends together and jump into the ring and you'll have a good time. I applaud the devs for trying to please their user base as well but it just didn't pain out for them. Moxxi's Underdome is certainly the worst expansion to-date. Still, I'm sure I've logged 20 hours there just organizing my shtuff so $9.99 well spent.

 

 

February 26th, 2010 Release: The Secret Armory of General Knoxx

And this is where probably 100 of my 200 hours of play have gone. Knoxx is an incredible expansion. I consider it the best Borderlands has to offer. First off, it's a full-on campaign story so it's already beat out Moxxi's. It quite a bit shorter than the original game but, then again, Knoxx's playtime sodomizes Zombie Island like anyone-but-a-rapist at a rapist convention. To put it in less technical terms, consider this. I'm pretty sure in the time it takes to finish all the side quests in Knoxx, you could completely finish Zombie Island almost 2 times over. Now, I'm gonna have to give writing and story to Zombie Island but it's quite close so I think it comes down to personal preference. Knoxx, however, cleans up in all categories regarding content. 2K created a large, new world with a handful of new characters and loads to explore. There are lots of new enemies to decapitate and missions galore. Scooters back this time around and provided 2 new vehicles, one of which is FINALLY a four-seater in a 4 player coop game. Then there's what I think is the main draw for Knoxx. The level cap of 50 is being raised to 61. For those of you who don't get the "crank it up to 11" reference there, I pity you. Now, that was the draw but not what kept me playing. It's the combination of all these things. All this for an original price tag of $19.99. Thats bang for your buck. So, that's what I've been up to. Can't seem to quit you, Borderlands. I don't really see it as a problem as much as something to fill the void between sleep but I'm sure my therapist would disagree. Anyway, we'll keep you posted on any new add-ons, of course. Just stay tuned. They say somethings in the pipes. I'm sure I'll get it on release day.

 

- Squid out